Friday 16 December 2011

Suicide Note by the Princess

Read the last blog post to understand this one better! :)


"While I keep asking my self
Of why I let go
Of the love that was knocking
Right outside my door



It isn’t a fairy tale
He though nearing a prince charming
Life well we know is a bitch
And I gave in to its wicked schemes

Now that he is gone
Life did not cease to grow
And when I thought I had renounced love
The rain wrote his name on my window



Eyes flooded, lips quivered
Those long conversations appeared hanging in thin air
I shut my eyes to clog all ways
But his love shouted of promises
In my ears

I was scared of the blows that rained on me
When once I returned empty handed
From the threshold of love
And now that I have lost my way
Some far-away distances I must cover
In the quest of his love
To explore it within me
Something says I shouldn’t give up
That I should be a fighter
Look for the face that make the stars in the sky
To shine a little brighter



Even if I give up the quest to life
The heart I believe will continue
Reaching out to his ends in glee
While I die, set me ablaze
But keep safe these eyes of mine
That are turned towards him, expectantly."


Wednesday 14 December 2011

Of a Guarded Heart.


A guarded princess lay in her castle
Protected she remained
From the storm of emotions
That might wither her, she thought
For love didn’t quite lay by her side
Left her abode once
So now she fought
Against every sentiment that even tried
To create a space in her heart



One fine winter noon
While she stood by the porch
A bangle seller came across
She descended down the castle
Heads turned
Her beauty was beyond any admiration



She posed her hand
The bangle seller looked
Stupefied by her charm
Arrested in love he stood
As he touched her hand
It nearly slipped
From the white glistening skin
As smooth as silk

She smiled at him
And ran back to the castle
His touch inflicted the chords
She had long sheltered

This became mundane
They would steal glances when he walked by
While every winter noon
At the porch, her hair she would dry

She stood before the mirror
Caressed her hair
Tears rolled down her eyes
For she was now scared
Of the brewing love
That she ignored
Of the passion that made its way
Through the walls of her heart
Through all the choked ways

She couldn’t have been in love again
Doesn’t it befall once?
With questions in her heart she tussled
Though every time she saw him,
Her heart never ceased to pounce

As she walked by the garden one night
He stood before her with all delight
She turned her back for she fumbled
She couldn’t hide the love
Apparent from her eyes

He asked for her hand
Announced his heart



She still couldn’t buy
She was in love
For they say, once smitten, twice shy
She ran away saying
“You must go, for I don’t want this from life”
He went ahead with his head down
Lamented for he couldn’t be her knight




She stood behind another wall
Walls all again
Looked down to see him walk away
With tsunamis tussling in her eyes
A silent tear made its way
She realized love it was
But was unsure whether she could cater anymore
To the sting of love
So she nudged it away

Another noon when the bangle seller came by
He didn’t look towards the porch
She still stood by the side
Stealing glances at the other woman
Who now was buying the bangles
She had denied
Envious she ran down and called him out
He left with the woman
SORRY alone he said in reply



Once love left her, now she let it go
Pangs of pain though were there to stay
A heavy heart is like a heavy cloud
Both when let lose, do better, they say

She would then remain at the porch
Even afraid of love
She had denied all the red in her life
But in no time red took the better of her
When out of resentment she let herself lose
In the wind, as she stood above the porch
And finally ousted her battle with love and life
The red blood still wasn’t as red
As her soft effervescent cheeks
And they announced, the princess died.


Tuesday 29 November 2011

Night beyond years.


That Night I lived
That Night I Loved
That Night I Kissed
That Night I Blushed
That Night I Submitted
to his charms,
That Night I let myself free
in his arms



That Night I felt his breath
climbing up my neck to my ears
Whispering I was special
He held me to never let go
That Night was beyond years



That Night I belonged to him
Only to realize, the day rested at the brim.




Friday 25 November 2011

As I say Goodbye.


As I say goodbye to the hand that held
The falling me, the lost myself
As I say goodbye to eyes that promised
Of love, of friendship, of feelings unmatched




As I say goodbye to the kiss unlived
No matter how much I suppressed the yearning self




As I say goodbye to the laugh that echoes
In the ballroom of my heart, where a certain feelings danced



As I say goodbye to the promises unspoken,
As I say goodbye to the affinity down trodden
As I say goodbye to the arms unwrapped,
As I say goodbye to something I never had



My heart sinks
I stand with a batted breath
To witness the impending
To watch you walk ahead
And how I still will never regret
For something unparalleled we sure shared
Something premium not molested and raped
With the flood of expectations
But fostered with a clasp of love innate




These few days will remain etched in my head
When you only gave, expecting nothing
Your memories will span distances and times
As I will pull of a smile to the world and amidst
My heart will never cease to sink.


Wednesday 16 November 2011

Wept!


Today as I sat and told her
Don’t cry honey that is how things move
She wept and wept and wept
I told her, to tell him
Love is all you need
She wept and wept and wept
I told her, you got to understand
Don’t let love go
She wept and wept and wept
I told her, he loves you
He isn’t possessive but watchful
She wept and wept and wept

She said, what do you know about love
You failed in your own quest
I looked at her as eyes brimmed
She picked up her bag and left

Gravity didn’t retire to idleness
Tears she pulled with all duress
As I wept and wept and wept.


Saturday 12 November 2011

The Unfulfilled love


And today when I fell back
You weren’t in time to catch
A wound inflicted again in heart
Of the love that went ahead
Leaving the us behind
Leaving the eyes teary red
No, it’s not the nose anymore.

And today when I scrolled through contacts
Your name still fastened my breath
A silent tear rolled down my cheek
I typed my heart in a text
I curled up in the blanket alone
No, it’s no more you by my side.

And today when I picked up my pen
And today when I wrote my name
I still wrote your last and attached it to mine
And today when I wrote my heart in the text
And today when I almost hit a send
I erased it all, for I can only whine
As today I stand alone for love left abode
As today your love is no more mine
As today we admire from distances alone
As today the love stands unfulfilled
As today the pursuit remains unaccomplished

How I wish I was a time traveller
For if not fix things,
I could reach out to the better times.

Tsunamis in my eyes never cease to drown me
The coldness in the air makes me miss the warmth
As I would snuggle in with all my love
In your bosom, in the ardor of your arms

And today when I grabbed the pillow
And today when I turned the light down
There appeared a text that said
“How are you? What’s going on?”
“I am terrible without you come take me back”
Is all I wanted to say as eyes brimmed again
“I am good, how about you”
Is all I could write and then howled in pain
And I still wonder, and I still believe
Grieving for you is better
Than moving on
For they say, its unfulfilled love alone
That is a romantic one.



Saturday 5 November 2011

When he saw her last


The sunny day, the heat, the sweat
I lingered somehow to college in tracks
The first bench was my best friend alone
That tree in the college garden my bolster
In these hot summers I laid in its shade
It reminded of my mother’s lap
It reminded of my father’s hand
When he would keep it on my shoulder
Telling the ways of life and men
They died last year.



Another day, same faces
I was used to of my routine enough
The first bench, the break and my tree
The scribbling with my pen on paper
As I occupied my seat
I smelled a fragrance
A sudden air went across my face
It was as I stood amidst a valley
Full of flowers and hues of grace
I looked at my side
She sat there.

Those eyes were bigger than an infant’s
They carried a tinge of brown
Every time those curled lashes shut
It seemed the world came to an end
Her curly locks fell above her waist
They were darker than the darkest night
That kohl lined up her eyes a way
That swayed many stories from her life
As she looked at me and said that ‘Hello’
Those little pink lips moved in the most delicate way
That nose on her face, how I wished I could touch
Every boy yearned for her and girls stood in dismay



She was the wish I would ask God for
The lost light of my life I yearned
She was the girl I would have taken to Mom & Dad
Had they been here to bless their young son
I wrote her a letter to tell her how I felt
Ninety sleepless nights and days
I pictured us together in my growing
I was sure my love would find its way



As I entered the next day
Waiting with batted breathe
She came up to me
My hand she held
Torn pieces of my letter
She handed over and said
“Get lost from here
You scrap you loser”
And those classmates mocked
But I didn’t regret
She was the only wish I beheld



This was the piece he wrote the last
Nobody knew where he went
With her picture in his heart
And with his unfulfilled love
He never returned to that land

After many a years
When she was the mother of two
Everybody reunited and celebrated old days
She was as breath-taking
As she ever was
She only got beautiful with her age

She asked for him to a few
Nobody ever knew where he was
She rushed back home
Opened a letter from him she long possessed
But never cared to read before
She didn’t need it
Everything in life she has always had



She read it and crashed into the floor
He had died that day
For only death could pacify
His unfulfilled love
His desire for her, for his life
She lamented, she cried
She clutched her hair, tore her dress apart
His last words were,
“You were my only wish,
The one I wanted to see the last”
And so he chose the day
He saw her the last.




Plot courtesy: Neha Choudhry, Her blog (beautiful collection of poems) : Let Life Breathe...

Wednesday 2 November 2011

A little love is all they need.


They saw him in growing
In her womb he lay
They held hands together
Waited for the big day


They held his finger tight
While he ventured that first trail
He clicked those first pictures
When he clutched her hair
While he would nibble on his petite nails



She did not buy a saree that day
Because for a playstation he whined
He made peace with his worn out shoes
For his smile over the new bicycle was prime



For his education alone
They worked for extra hours
While there was an AC in his room
They spent July in sweat showers

Now he is a big man
Has achieved by leaps and bounds
They smile at each other when they see him
Feel proud of their mighty son

I walked past their house
And heard someone shouting
No it wasn’t her anymore for his incomplete homework
Neither him for his scattered things

It was him now shouting at them
It was him telling they interfered
It was him saying they were too old
To watch television disturbing his news
To wish for a walk alone
As the house would be empty then
And vulnerable to thefts
I wondered, were they the watchmen?

Today as I walked by I heard her shouting
His wife it was, the son’s wife
She shouted at the mother
For she left some grey hair
In her comb.
Was it a vintage comb? I wondered.

Many such days followed
They were accused of open taps
Of unheard mails
They would sit in the veranda sometimes
Looking into nowhere they lay
Pondering over what went wrong
Talking with the birds they would say
“Children are our assets, no matter how they behave”

After a few days I saw the smiles back
Together they walked towards the car
Maybe going out for a holiday, I thought
As a few packed bags they loaded 



The house was quite
The veranda deserted
The birds no more there on the parapet
As I asked the little one in the family
Where granny grand pa were,
At “old home” he said



I looked at him playing
The bicycles were back again
I wondered if this cycle would follow
When this kid will leave his parents
On their own when it was time for him to pay
Pay back all that they did for him
While he was ignorant and they only loved more
Each passing day

The two left to the old age home
Spent their lives together in depravity
Not of resources, but love
Not of money, but family
And died a desolate death
While all that they owned
Some money, some jewellery
In his name alone they wrote their will
And I realised that day
Its only parents on heaven and earth
Who love even on being dejected.


All they yearn for is a little love. Too much to ask? Please do think.

Saturday 29 October 2011

But its, THEY.


They ventured a walk
After they parked the car at FMS
In her black pyjamas and slippers
She would still look the best

The chill in the wind
Made her nose go red
He looked at her and smiled
Her cheeks he caressed

Winter promised its arrival
He held her waist under the moon
The stars dimmed their lights
The walk promised unison

They walked back towards the car
He held her face in his palms
As Bryan Adams promised his love
Their breathes fastened
She felt the warmth of his breath
On her neck, on her cheeks
Her lips quivered in ecstasy
As he got nearer and kissed

They saw a decade together
The blankets were forever warm
The naps were always a pretext
To trigger the love that blossomed
And it’s another winter again
They still sit in the blue Zen getting cosy
They still find all pretexts
They still go for drives till late
The only difference being, it’s now THEY.



Sunday 23 October 2011

The right time is NOW!


It was five in the morning today, I had not slept. I watched Vicky, Christina, Barcelona and then later I was going through the facebook profiles of all those people I had met lately, I had lost lately, I had loved lately and I hated since ever.
One common and static fact pertaining to everybody remained, that they had all changed. I am nobody to judge whether for good or bad, but they had. I shed a few tears looking at certain pictures and I laughed over certain crazy ones, memories have their due in everyone’s life.
I opened my chat box and saw, only a few people were online. Four. Out of which, there was a friend, who chose to ignore me. I had never known the reason, or I guess I did. We never talked about it, but we would always stalk each other’s profile so that we knew what was going on. Although I knew it in my heart he won’t reply, I still dropped in a ‘hi’. And to my surprise, he replied.

Him: Hey, how are you mitthi?
Yes, he would call me that!

Me: I am good taptop, how have you been?
And yes, I called him that

We talked for an hour and we told each other how much we missed our long chats, our night calling. He had shifted to Mumbai and things have been on a changing spree since then.
After I talked to him I realized, that maybe life isn’t all that sad. I had never thought he would ever reply, but I didn’t give up on trying, and we did talk. My neck pained like crazy for I have been suffering from cervical pain, but I didn’t want to let go off him. I wanted to relive all those memories of our doughnuts, of our KFC meets, of our Barista coffees, of our first hug and of our unspoken words and silences.




Him: Mitthi, of all the times I write and erase a text before I send it to you, I just fail sending it all together as there is so much to say and a message can never be enough.

Me: You don’t have to say anything; I can comprehend with your silences.

All I want to say is, if there are people in your life you just want to never let go off and distances have crept in, feel no hesitation and try. It doesn’t matter who does, because at the end of the day, you are saving a relation worthwhile. Who knows what tomorrow has in store, you got to seize the day my friend! Don’t ponder over what’s the right time, for the right time in now!

P.S. This one is for you Taptop! J


Thursday 13 October 2011

Wasted

The wasted night, The wasted day
That wasted sight
Her wasted fate
Wasted was the hate
Love a better industry?
Duh! Then Death be it
For after that
Nothing awaits
Only a wait
To again be one
One with fate.


And she died


It lies there in front of my eyes
It says the truth they say
Liar, i call them all
It was not the truth when he died
They said it was a suicide
The assassins killed him
He was not wealthy
She was a queen
She died too
Liars spoke again
She was love deprived
Though died of of being infidel
She couldn't take the onus of the guilt
They made her dance in the court
She did silently
She belched the whiskey loud
They said, long live the queen
And she died.

The song ended

I played a song
Heartbreak again?
Too numb to realize
Was he the one?
Thinking is futile
I played a song
And i looked at the window pane
Rains? oh no
Too typical
What do you have to say about love?
Oh not love again
I played a song
The clouds above
No point trying

It will end there
I took the earphones off

And then, it ended
The song.


I heard he is still waiting
someone tell him i am dead
i heard he still cries
someone tell him i am dead
i heard he still thinks i am the one
someone tell him i am dead
i heard someone saying he died..


I cannot see

And i left
Now i don't want to
But now the doors are closed
And so i sit outside

Inside its all dark
I cannot see anymore
They have tied my legs too
So i cannot leave
And there someone thinks
I am making merry.


Saturday 8 October 2011

When the tables turn


There was a time when I loved
The idea of love
And then I felt how it felt
But today when I reflect on what I beheld
I am filled with unparalleled regrets

I bent down for us
Not because I thought I was wrong
I bent just to behold whatever we beheld
For a little more while, for a little long

And when it ends today I am fine
For I can breathe, I can live
And when it ends today you will see
What you ignored thinking I was meek

I would still sway my way to someone’s heart
You will see me having fun
Someone else will hold these tresses
Someone else I will go and strike
And will get naked in love’s ocean

You ignorant one, lend me an ear
I will whisper in your ears what you should know
Get your ass out of here and never look back
For I will bite and spell death alone

I will dance around the bonfire
Of those pictures of yours with mine
And you will shat your pants when you see
Me lying with someone intertwined

You changed the hues of my life from red to black
Now you watch me live with it
The innocence was a long stolen fact
And now a devil in me lives
A storm rises within me
The fragrance of my breath quiver
While I crash down on the floor and write
None, these eyes will now spare
And when I make my move I shall see
How you cry and live in misery


Tuesday 27 September 2011

Wish you were here..


Today while travelling back to home
That song suddenly played
The one you would sing to me all the time
While engulfed in your arms I laid
I blinked my eye to not let tears make their way
My cheeks then felt a sudden wave of air
Reminding me of the way you would caress my face
How I wished, you were here..

Every time I visit those places and see
People holding hands and making merry
I sit back and time pushes me
To the times when our laughs echoed the streets
To the times we celebrated my smallest victory
To the times when we ate in the same dish
To the times, I thought it will always persist

As I walked down the road
And it ended at my place
How I wished it was yours and not mine
When I reached back and undressed
While my hands moved around
How I wished they were yours and not mine
While I settled to have food
And mom got American Chop suey
I settled back and moved rear
To hold back a tear that struggled to find its way
How I wished, you were here..

I reached out to the bed
With the phone in hand I fiddled badly
Typed your number to call but didn't make
Wondering, I was supposed to act angry
I typed a text, congratulated and kept it away

I peered from the corner of my eye
To see if a text from your side appears
But there came no reply
And I broke down clutching the pillow tight
For it was already too hard to bear
With our pictures bookmarked
I smiled seeing the highest likes
That tear finally made its path clear
And while I struggled to sleep
That tear failed to wash your sight
And I kept wishing, wishing you were here..

Wish you were here..

Saturday 24 September 2011

D.E.J.E.C.T.I.O.N


All that was left over
Were the pages where you wrote
I was the prettiest woman
Of your life, you swore
But today when I look back
All that they seem
Is a playful wish that you knew
Will never come into being

But I was living a dream
Of our being together
I stood against all odds
My love didn’t wither
Aware of the uncertainties
I remained there still
Dreaming with eyes open
I wrestled every glitch

But it ended, it had to end
And you went, you had to go
To make way for YOUR things
OUR love was made a scapegoat
I cried, I shouted
I questioned your stand
Your answer was the same
“You alone are the one I want to talk to”
While with ease you left my hand

I waited for a while
For you to realize
You took me for granted
And now you bear the price
For I am walking away
Rendering this heart to someone
Who will see my love
And will reciprocate it with tons

Though I tried my way out
To get things back in fashion
But then I see you moving forth
Abandoning me to dejection
Now you expect things to get fine
For you want them to be your way
But since you dejected my love then ....


 So, dejection is what you’ll have to face.

Saturday 3 September 2011

You wished i was around..!


No matter how much the distance separates
And though our accord has surpassed the lease
Of all the times you wash your clothes alone
And end up putting in the washing powder less
I would like to believe & make peace
That you wish, I was around

I know you thought of time being wrong
You were more unsure than you could be strong
The better things in your life have taken a toll over me
But of all the times when you sit down tired
Walk towards the kitchen to make your coffee
I would like to believe & make peace
That you wish, I was around

Of all our pictures on facebook
When you would maintain the count of likes
Today when I am no more there in them
Though someone else is
While you hold her waist and get done a click
Something from those memories would hound
I would like to believe & make peace
That you wish, I was around

In the cold winter afternoon
When the blanket comes off
And the cold hits your bare feet
And you would lay there thinking I will envelope you
But while you lay alone, with a bare bosom
I would like to believe & make peace
That you wish, I was around

When you drive down home from work
And pick your phone to dial a number
There seems nobody you want to talk to
And with tsunamis in your eyes you struggle
Put the phone at bay and look at the watch
It reminds you of the times you said
“This promises a great day, so when with you
This is what I would put on”
Choked you look outside in thin air
I would like to believe & make peace
That you wished, I was around

Our favourite songs, our favourite movies
The places we would visit
The American chop suey
The Friends on star world
The in numerous pictures
Everything whenever you would try to shun
I would like to believe & make peace
That you wish, I was around

Today when you text and tell me things
Of how things are moving and how occupied things were
I hold back my tears and act all good
And show no sign of despair
I only keep praying for your success
No matter you aren’t there
I still hope against the hope
That the day things will settle
And you achieve by leaps and bounds
The toast that you raise to celebrate
Will seem garbled and half-done
I would like to believe & make peace
That you wish, I was around

Title & frame courtesy : Neha Choudhary

Thursday 1 September 2011

Wednesday 31 August 2011

He struggles to have a few, while the other for a few more!


I walked pass the street
A woman lay in the corner asleep
I pitied her crisis and walked ahead praying
May god bless her with better things

at a signal I saw a few kids
Two inside a car, peeping out from the window
Two outside trying to woo them
Woo them with the way they twisted & turned their bodies
So that a smile from the ones inside,
Would let them make peace with their appetite

I moved ahead and saw a few men
Some sitting inside a well-lit building
A few trying to build up a similar one
When I was sweating while walking alone
I wondered what must be their plight
Working in scorching heat to manage a plate
For their families waiting at home

I went home and saw a girl
She was my age and pretty
While she washed the dishes
I saw her dreams crushed down
For she had no business
Of thinking to study
Her life was confined to dirty dishes

The next day I went pass the same path
The woman who lay asleep had actually died
And still nobody cared to stop by and help
They walked pass feeling sad
I walked pass too

The kids who twisted & turned their bodies
Were standing at the food stall nearby
They asked for a frooti, with a ten rupee in hand
They had a glint in their eyes and a wide smile
The vendor shooed them away for they were a penny less
The frooti was for eleven, he said
They went with their heads hung low, I stood their numb

Then I saw a handful of them less
The site where men worked tirelessly
A roof had fallen upon on a few
And I thought of the abandoned families

When reached home, she wasn’t there too
I asked our maid, her mother
She was sent to the village for marriage, she said
I wondered of her predicament, as if this was less

When we complain of ACs not working fine
Of travelling by an auto, for we don’t have our own car
And while we curse the school for holding tests,
A few destitute remain inside our homes washing our mess
These are the plight of poor
Of people who die everyday
Striving to manage
A square meal, a day!

Thursday 28 July 2011

I stood there seeing.


I stood at one end of the bridge
At the other stood they holding hands
The street lights low
The night so dark
They looked into each other’s eyes
It was the color of love that I saw
And I stood there seeing

I stood at one end of the bridge
At the other stood they
They had killed them
For she was rich and he learned alone
It was the color of hatred that I saw
And I stood there seeing

I stood at one end of the bridge
At the other stood they
They held their child’s hand
And looked at each other while gay
It was the color of nourishment that I saw
And I stood there seeing

I stood at one end of the bridge
At the other stood they
Their son had just thrown them out
They stood alone in dismay
It was the color of betrayal that I saw
And I stood there seeing

I stood at one end of the bridge
At the other stood they
She carried a child and they made merry
She gave birth to a pretty lil girl
It was the color of motherhood that I saw
And I stood there seeing

I stood at one end of the bridge
At the other stood they
Snatched her little one from her hands
She didn’t even feed her well
They killed her in front of her eyes
It was the color of depravity that I saw
And I stood there seeing

I stood at one end of the bridge
At the other stood they
She played with her sort
They giggled and laughed
It was the color of childhood that I saw
And I stood there seeing

I stood at one end of the bridge
At the other stood they
Picked her up from her way to a place dark
She shouted but the beast didn’t keep at bay
Torne her spirits while he tore her clothes apart
And she jumped from the bridge
Only to not let her folks feel ashamed
It was the color of destruction that I saw
And I stood there seeing

I stood at one end of the bridge
At the other stood they
They had managed to sell the pencils at the signals
Had collected a ten chips
A smile so wide for now they will fill
The empty belly that was empty still
It was a color of innocence that I saw
And I stood there seeing

I stood at one end of the bridge
At the other stood they
Went to the vendor with the ten chips
To get a frooti they held their hand forward
He pushed them aside saying it’s for twelve
But ten was all they had
The smile vanished into thin air
Away, looking down they went
It was the color of helplessness that I saw
And I stood there seeing

Who am i?
I may be you, or you or might just be you too
And I keep seeing with a blind eye
Keep hearing with a deaf ear
To what shouldn’t be there and what should be fought
I stand alone at the other end and watch
For I am safe and splendid as yet.

Sunday 24 July 2011

Though i was ready, still the tears fall for you.


I had sailed onto the voyage
Only to see the boat drown
Kept crawling with broken pieces in hands
Pieces of a glass palace that I had built
Thinking of inhabiting with love in there
I was making castles in the air
And someday it had to fall down

I see it failing and it hurts bad
I see the love falling out that we beheld
I see things going wrong and I cannot help
So I wait for the destiny to untie these ends
I cannot take this onus on my head

I saw them holding hands
I saw them feeling bliss
Then I looked into the mirror
And saw how I missed
To be held the way he held her
To be looked at the way he did
To say nothing and still feel it all
To blush away like she did

We had lost it all
What remained were tears and i mourn
I struggled hard to make it fine
But the smiles were replaced by a frown

None to fall back upon
For you were the world
I keep treading this path alone
Bearing the pangs of sorrow
Hoping against the dying hope
Watching the flame of love die out
While the mist of differences make things blurred

You departed while I arrived,
To hold your hand and beg you to stay
All I found was a goodbye note
Your words that said “this won’t work this way”

I crashed into the floor
With eyes that bled
Clutching to the note tight
I cried for help
You were strong enough to tell
Of what I had long beheld
But a hope made me going
That someday we might just reconcile
Till we not altercate of things going sad

But you broke the ice today
You moved forth to things new
And I am left looking into the thin air
With tears that keep falling, calling for you.

Friday 22 July 2011

I wondered, now I believe.

When I looked back today
I saw it the same
Same like I see it everyday
When tried to locate
A tensed brow on your face
All I see is a shudder and then you walk away
I wonder then should i hold on
To these lose ends
I wonder should I still wait
For things to mend
I wonder if you will ever ask me
“baby, lets get back”
And I wonder even more
For I can do nothing else
And its been quite a while now
Since you left it like this
Since you never looked back
Since you never held me
Since you never called to just say I love you
And kept the phone down
Since you never just kissed my cheek
Since you never were any around

Today when I feel stranded
I have not you but someone else
And I wonder if you will ever be
But then I wonder if wondering now will help
So I believe, I should move on like thee.


Wednesday 13 July 2011

I cannot move on.

no i cannot move on
it ain't any easy
as i thought it would be
no i can't escape the essence of your love
that made me feel
i was the one and only

no i cannot move on
from the sight of those eyes
that had tears just to make me stay
and from that smiled that went off
coz i left him in dismay

no i cannot move on
and forgive myself of things that went wrong
and of the choices that proved futile
of promises that i thought to be strong

no i cannot move on when i see that letter
that said i was the world to you
and when i see that tee
that had the picture of us two
that chime each time when sways
with the wind
reminds me of all your prayers
which asked for nothing but me
that watch that tells me
whenever i look for time
that all that was good in it
had left my abode way back when i left
those sandals you got
when you gave up on your shoes
just to see me smile
you didn't care to pay your dues

how do i move on
when each time i think of someone
its just your face that hounds me
when each time i try to love
its just you who define the word for me
when i find it better to die
while crossing the road
than to hold someone else's hand
and when every breath i take
tells me, he was your only man!

no i cannot move on..