Wednesday 19 December 2012

I am afraid.


Don’t ask me why I wore a skirt
Ask them why the mother’s legs
Didn’t make their penis wander about
And violate her modesty, like they did mine.

Don’t ask me why I was out at night
Ask them about the working sister
She is out still, oblivious about the lecherous brothers
Oblivious there might be another eyeing her
She is me, she has a cunt.

If you can’t do this, give me a scar in the face
That never goes
That reminds you, me
Of the wounds that bleed on the outside
As much as they do inside
And reminds everyone with a cunt
That she will always be ‘the other’

Because today I am afraid
Of the empty house
Of the dark night
Of the lonely corridor
Of a shadow nearing mine
Of walking back to the house,
In a slow pace

Today I am afraid
Of half the human race.


Friday 14 December 2012

Liberation

Make me insignificant.

Like a drop in an ocean,
I want to lose my identity.

A face in the crowd nobody recollects
No names, no tags, no testimony to attest
An existence that I ever beheld.

Erase me from your memory
Let go of all that reads, speaks, feels akin me
I want liberation.





Wednesday 7 November 2012

Void stored, Life drained.

Numb you stand and watch
While they take away all you had
No tears will suffice
To bring it back
And then you will stand and watch
Your blood wailing in pain
No words but shriek escaping lips
Eyes blood shot and senses will quit
Only comprehension that remains
Will be synonymous to pain
Muscles will fail you
There won’t be much you could do
Feeble, hopeless, grey you sit
In an empty room, just emptied
With walls that smell and speak of a presence
Whose absence now, forever will prick
This ache will crawl up your toes
Will penetrate your skin, diffusing into the blood
Until it hasn't had fun inflicting your wound
As you twist and turn crying
Which will never be enough
And life will bring you down to your knees
“Bite the dust, you took for me granted”
It will announce and laugh and mock at your pride
Its time you knew, it wasn't yours to ride
You pay the rent and leave one day
A few tears, a day and it will continue its play
Fair or not, it’s not for you to say
Who are you? What are you, anyway?!



Monday 17 September 2012

The feet.


Little feet, crawling
Mouth, the only reception
Eyes watching, witnessing lies
Ears listening cries
Little feet learn
For they let them.



Not so little feet, escaping
Hiding in the dark
Too much light, too real a reality
Succumbing to their way
Not so little feet walk over
Pulling down anything between their path
Not so little feet have learnt
For they let them.



The old feet, at rest
No zeal, no time, no place to run
Old feet, make patters in the dust
Old eyes look, introspect
Of wasted miles, of wasted suns
Old eyes shut, they won’t open
The old feet unlearn
And they let them.


The old woman, the old man.


Held his petite fingers
They kissed his forehead
Filmed him take his first ever steps
At around their knees he would prance
Pulling on grandma’s hair
With grandpa’s glasses he would play along
‘Ride me on your back grandpa'
And the old man would kneel
'Sing me a sleep song granny'
And her breaking voice sung melodies



Today it’s his twelfth birthday
All his friends are home
The old man, the old lady though would sit alone
In a place un-cherished and unknown
Holding on to a knitted sweater
With the grandson’s name sewed in blue
She wipes a silent tear
Trickling down grandpa’s cheek
Holding his arm, just being there
Looking at the broken wooden door
In a rickety old harbour for aged
They wait for their son to pick them up
For the place which was once their home



Winter, the only season their life understands
Whilst they sit and wait to transcend
To a world where there is no place
To a world with no time
Where they can watch down from the skies
Their grandson singing the rhymes
They once sung to him
Before the transient nature of time
Turned the ones they raised
Forgetful and unkind


Friday 14 September 2012

Winter



Warm feet,
arms, hands, those wanderers 
Breath, collide
A face, beautiful, seductive
Moist lips, skin radiating, pristine white
hair, darker than the night
A blanket covering the uncovered
darkness overwhelmed senses
lights needed no more.

Winter, stay.

Cold feet, a pair
arms rolled, a pair
No collision of breath
A face as cold as ice
melting into the crimson fire of pain
Cracked lip, raw skin
Upon an abandoned body
a blanket covering the uncovered, still
darkness overwhelming the senses, still
lights needed no more, still.

Winter, stayed.




Wednesday 1 August 2012

Look out for me?


Close your eyes and count till ten
Look out for me
In the breeze that carries my scent
I hope you turn around locating me in the crowd then
In the chill of the wind
Turning your nose red
At the shore of your heart
Where a few castles once read
Of our togetherness.

Close your eyes and count till ten
Look out for me
Under the sky of our dreams
In the warmth of the firewood
Where the fervor of our breaths
Colliding with all the vehemence
Ousted the passion
Flickering in those flames.



Close your eyes and count till ten
Look out for me
Tracing the signature of my feet
Washed away by the sea
Which you tickled sometime back
And kissed
Whilst a silver anklet with hearts and stars
You tied around it.



Close your eyes and count till ten
Look out for me
On the canvas of the love that was
With the brightest hues
In the folds of the sheets that lie indifferent now
Where I would duck in and peep through one eye
I wasn’t the naughty one, or was I?!
Concealing the smirk
Oh the smirk, your secret confidant!



Close your eyes and count till ten
Look out for me
In those drowsy days
In those sleepless nights
In a lifeless life, that found abode in you
And now skirts around in oblivion
Of what, they call as life.



Close your eyes and count till ten
Look out for me
I am standing there, still.

Living in a longing, of the day
When you will close your eyes and count till ten
To look out for me, if at all.
Else, denial works for a lovelorn
Who will keep scribbling
Pouring out all the pain
Smiling at everyone, when they take your name.









Friday 1 June 2012

She exists in the non existent.


She looked through the window
The rusted pane, the tainted glass
She sipped and licked her lip
Sipped some more
Wine wasn’t enough that night
Looking for a face amongst the stars
Another in the patterns the clouds make
Giving an ear to the silences of the night
She wriggled her fingers through the strand of hair
That carelessly danced to the rhythm of the wind
Her fragile hands slid the glass away
With laden eyes she kept sorting,
That strand of hair
Those sloppy clouds
The mean stars

In the spring outside she couldn’t reconcile
The winter inside her didn’t die
The delightful symphonies that whore burnt away
The whore named Time
Left over are,
Torched spirits
Unlit reminiscenses
Empty wine bottles
Brimmed blood-shot eyes
A world that ceased to exist
A self existence denied
An unfinished story
A finished life.


Tuesday 24 April 2012

To self.


A few words that echo, the only smile with glistening teeth, the uncovered yawn and the sweaty forehead.

The cusp of the tissue, the rear-view mirror, miles marched or really?

Sleep deprived eyes, liked unlike, stalk and sulk, look around and then move rear.

A song of love, an always after all, the dry monsoon and the clock that did halt.

Interrogates the mirror, an unanswered self, then picks up a pen and sulks a little more.


Saturday 7 April 2012

Please remember me.


Remember me when you dance
Call my name when you sing
When I climb the staircase to heaven
Don’t let the tears in your eyes touch the brink

When the nasty sun rays peek through the window
And tease you as they fight your eyes
Whilst you turn your face and toss the side
Remember me embracing you between the sheets
As you frown and in my bosom you confide



When the wind rustles through your hair
Kisses your neck, climbing slyly to the ears
Remember the warmth of my breath that moistened your neck
That petite face in my hands, when I leant, turned shy
When a promise of togetherness on our lips did reside



As you pick a band to tie those tresses
Stop half way and remember me as I undid
Those locks darker than the night
Wherein my dreams played hide & seek
Lost in those tresses my nights were spent
Running my fingers through them, whilst you bent
You sure did cast a spell, you sure got me hypnotized


When the dresses don’t fit and you start to age
Remember when in the mirror you gaze
Those eyes still make me skip a beat
Whilst every night I see them gazing up at me
Trying to locate me amongst the stars
While a silent tear flows and you promise yet again
The smile is all you will greet me with, the next night



Let him take your hand now
Let him take you for a ride I didn’t
Your smile is what kept my life going
Your smile is what will keep me going in death still
As I watch down from the skies
So smile when you let yourself to him
And take a step or two, let loose those hair again
The music that will play in your ears
Let just that music be me

Remember me as you dance
And remember me when you sing..


Thursday 22 March 2012

To the dreaded dawn, the whining mirror and the nasty wind


An ashen face and trembling fingers
I held my bottle and gulped it down
With the mirror shouting, you are dying
I whispered in its ears, “I know”
As I dragged my feet towards the window
A gush of air pushed me away
The struggle between the two of us
The wind and I, consummated with the beginning of the day

I pranced through the meadows
In sunshine yellow and strawberry pink
A floral scarf, that went down till my knees
I kissed the air, to the sun I winked
Friends and folks beamed at my smile
I reassured them I was doing fine
I danced through the day and celebrated the feast
With my world, through the day I drank and dined
The day took off, the evening was here
The coats were put, feet marched towards their caves
I stood at the road with my eyes glued to the way
One for my home, one to a place far away
And again I gave up that thought
For the house, I left astray

As I shed off the cloak of the gaiety I wore
The mirror again shouted you’re living as the world’s whore
You smile because they want you to, dance to their song
I shouted “He stole my breathe and left me to a life forlorn,
Let me smile at the world and hide the tear they mistake for a glint in my eye
Let me dance to their tune
For the rhythm of my life has turned wry"

I and mirror quibbled through the night
The wind kept at bay, watching the brawl
I talked through the night, as it heard me whine
I drunk all my pain once again till those wee hours

Then afraid of the inevitable I peeped through the pane
As another day had commenced again.




Monday 19 March 2012

Delhi Metro! Why this Kolaveri?


The metro trains have sure bettered the face of public transport system but comes along with it an aftermath accruing to the struggle left over to ‘We the People’. A lot of struggle!

1.    Struggle to find a seat even in the women’s coach

The ninja spirited aunties. With the 100 kg flab hanging at their bodies, they would still beat Ussain Bolt at the race to get one empty seat as soon as the metro doors open. One whose luck favours would fix her wide ass to the spot and another with an I-won’t-give-up-Bitch attitude up her face, would make everyone on the berth move inch by inch building up a few inches to place her own ass (which may spread to miles!). Considering herself a size zero, she would eventually fix in to a seating capacity of ten, her being the twelfth. Travel in a truck you woman!

Then there are the old ones who would stand before you, breathing up your neck and because you are the Spoilt GenNext, the SMS generation, so in order to prove the integrity of your folks you leave your seat to them with the entire incumbency.

Please sit, Madame. I hope you slip!

But don’t be mistaken, this was just the lucky half of the women who got the seats. The deprived half would keep standing glued to the cusp of the seats.  And not to forget the three pair of eyes glued to grab one seat when the fat-ass gets up. And damn that victorious smile on the winner’s face!


2.    Struggle to bear some flatulence

When I say ‘Flatulence’, I mean the foul smell out of unpleasant reactions in someone’s stomach out of the burger he gorged on or the butter chicken he feasted upon.

“I wish you knew how I was suffering!”

I empathise, Sir, but flatulence is the biggest worry that plagues public transport. At least for me. Public farters like you never hesitate to make a move, for you know that we can’t locate you amongst the crowd. Not even a smile from your end, no reaction at all, and the poisonous gas is leaked from your godforsaken bodies to torture the innocent lives of the fellow travellers.

Thank you for being so considerate. Let me wait for the next station till I hold my breath. I have to stay alive till the doors open next.

…and secretly hope that some cork blocks your asshole. Soon.

3.    Struggling with the plethora of Homo-sapiens

The general coach always has a variety to offer. The pot-bellied men with tobacco stained teeth, the handsome guy with the Bluetooth in his ear. You cannot help but gawk at him and make all moves to grab his attention. But sadly, the moment you are able to find an empty spot near him after some fifty ‘Excuse Me’s, he gets down. Now the former variety stands before you the pot-bellied uncle.

There is always this chirpy little college girl with pink earphones plugged as she moves her feet to the song (a David Guetta number I am guessing). And when you cannot help but stare, she thinks you’re that despo who clicks pictures of women in the metros. So just shut your eyes even if she starts jumping and screaming. And sincerely, DO NOT CLICK!


There is aunty with the backless blouse and her flab poking out through the strings of it. Feel embarrassed as you bump into her huge boobs. You’ll somehow manage to find your way out!

The aunty with that kid who cries a lot, you cannot help but smile sheepishly whilst you wonder if you could just shove something up this nasty one’s mouth.

just when his biological mother does that!

The kid who thinks he is cute and can go his way playing with your phone/hair/nose and to whom you appear a tree. He can climb his way to you. 


You are quite likely to spot a group of friends who ramble about the hottest girl with the skimpiest top, about that teacher with the nice 36DD, about that bitch who fled with someone else’s boyfriend. This is the time you realize how your life sucks amidst the files at your desk in the office with no eye candy at all and a boss who is always breathing up your neck.

“Yeah. My life sucks, buddy!”

The metro is always too crowded. And unsettling. I want to get back to college. Now.

P.S. I have started writing for this website http://crazyweedia.com/ . Do pay a visit guys, if you wish to tickle your funny bone a little more :)
This article has been published there as well http://crazyweedia.com/entries/comedy/why-delhi-metro-sucks

Friday 16 March 2012

The kiss undone!

My fingers running through your hair
As you look into my eyes
Whilst you hold me by the waist
At the cusp of the dawn the universe subsides
“You’re drunk” you tell me
“Just kiss me” I insist



And as you lean your head forward
The sun waits a little while
To break through the skies
The dim lights, the breeze
Got us together those minutes
Before my dream was impeded
By the rat in my bed sheet!!



Ok sorry, I was feeling funny :P

Saturday 10 March 2012

I quit.


As I stare at the bulb hanging loose
And the ceiling that leaks, chipping off
A world inside me tussles
That you will never come across
For the face that I put on, the smile I wear
Makes you believe I am what you want
I am right there
But I am not.



Behind these eyes, I hide
Behind this smile, I cry
Behind these words, I shriek
To find a me I left behind
On a trip down, someday
Where I waited for you to come
To say, it’s ok.
That’s what you have done to me
Blinded me to the lighted way
That’s what I have become
Another body, waiting for decay.

So when I die, love me
For I gave up everything
In lieu of being someone
You wanted me to be
And now when I count till three
These breaths will cease
The fan at the ceiling
Will put me at ease.

The ceiling will not cease to chip
And you will forget me someday
The bulb will keep hanging loose
And a torn me between two lives,
One that you designed for me,
One that I did
Death will shun away.
So I no more beg of you to understand
No hope at my end is lit
Because today I am tired,
So today, I quit.


Friday 24 February 2012

In death she did write.


Lost in limbo she remains
Concealing the marks around her lips
Dried tears and ashen face
Smoking away the pain that pricks
As time peels her soul
Layer by layer
Piercing all that belonged to her
On what he feasted
Beastly hands and beastly lips
She lies there fluttering her legs
She lies there then numb
A dingy room and that fluorescent light
A naked her with none by side
For not hands he held, but only thighs
And then left withering her
Another hideous man arrives
And she is done again and left to her plight
While her lips remain sealed
Her soul cries
As the mirror tells her
He doesn’t care about your eyes
His frame of reference is
That flower between your thighs

"I cannot demand love
to me even care is denied
Fuck your world
I am no more the site"
She shouted, bolted her doors
And embarked her flight

They laid the stone
That read R.I.P
She was found in a gown that was white
What life denied her
In death she did write
While she lived those last minutes
Feasting on her life
Smiling at herself, welcoming death with pride.



Sunday 5 February 2012

Living to Die

Stoned he laid at that staircase
Where the feet never marched, only dragged
With heavy heart and body’s weight
He pushed himself towards darkness



Every breath that went in was just air
Every sip of water, mere pours
Each bite of food meant a thing down mouth
That pierced the walls of his throat

Two eyes looked at him, they laughed
Two eyes looked at him, they cried
Two eyes looked at him, they yelled
Two eyes left him cleaving wry





They were his own, venturing a quest
To excavate himself from the labyrinth of life
As he doped himself to madness
With every breath he took, even more he died

Anger and pain the only consciousness
Everything else, remained a blur
The benumbed senses kept shouting for him
But he chose against the will to shut his ears

An alter ego stretched arms to life
The other towards madness, calling him paranoid
He shouted, pulled hair shook the woman on his right
The mother stood numb seeing her son lost in void

He slapped his girl as she fell across the room
He pulled her hair and raped her savagely
The woman lay astray and hanged herself to death
Her man was a monster who did her heedlessly



The madness killed everything humanly
A beast now lived for a kill
To vent the anger down his throat
He doped a little more, he doped against his will

Knowing what he did, he still couldn’t live
Without the forbidden drug that consumed him in entirety
He smoked up more, exploiting himself
To escape a voice that unlashed the beast




They disowned him and sent him to rehab
For months he shouted and then succumbed to silence
He lays there stoned still, not of the drug that anesthetised
But of madness that whipped in him anger and violence
And of insanity that had now deprived him of a life
In madness he lives, in madness he will die



Unaware of a self, unaware of his deeds
He tears his cloak, gapes to breathe
Looks at the world that drove him to madness
And now calls him a filthy beastly mess
Oblivious of a body that carries his soul
The mirror too now had turned oblique
What remains is only pain
That tears his flesh excruciatingly

Wasted he lies there, stoned away from life
Unaware of a self, living to die.


Sunday 15 January 2012

Of a Con woman in love


Call me rogue, call me a wanderer
One look in my eyes and you shall suffer

I will steal your priced possession
And you will never know
Like sand I will slip from your clasp
While you catch me as I go



A secret sewing your lips
Of my fraudulence you won’t speak
 For you gave in to my tricks
While I left your thirst unquenched
And emptied your pocket leaving you drenched
I am a thief in disguise, a damsel faithless



Another cop, another day
Investigations rolled
Like the wave of dew I vanished
Seen and admired but none could hold

And then he came.

Outshining the sun he stood
An eye in my eye and I gazed
As he held my arm for the arrest
While my heart became the guest
Of the love that stood my way
I ran saving my life
For a rogue now had found
A reason to live a life
In the refuge of someone’s arms

Was I dreaming? A cop and a thief?

The intoxicating eyes couldn’t cheat him
The damsel lay astray in love
The faithless woman altered to Keats
After one sight of her knight armoured

For I wrote now letters
Immersed in fragrance of your love
To tell you the plight of my heart
I lay possessed by your love
And it sure might occur to you
That these are the pages of some tale
But today I will confront and speak my heart
This pounds for you all hours of the day



Love tricked the damsel as she went
To the cop, speaking of the story of her heart
She had nestled it within for long
Now was the time he heard it and laughed

He caught her by the hand, she smiled
Threw her behind bars, she smiled
Was awarded the medals of bravery
For he had caught the damsel who had beguiled
Men of honour who thought she was one at a price



The con woman lay abhorred
He never believed her words
She blamed herself and Karma
For now nothing favoured

After all the torture she endured
Inside the clink as he abused
Of her blemished character
As she kept breaking loose

She still smiled, for the series of his talks
Weaved the life she lived in love
And a day came when she decided to walk
Into the skies for now she thought
Another birth was what she needed
For this life she would never have
His love and his heart

She died. Her last words.

“Dear, you never believed
The condition of my spread heart
But your love twisted this damsel
The metamorphosis to a lover wasn’t hard
For your words, your sight
Your touch delivered to my soul
Of love wherein I lived a life I had never thought
As I leave the world today
I have no regrets, only rush
To be born again as someone
Who is worthy of your love
Goodbye dear, I am riding off from behind these bars
Though in the night, I will meet you among the stars.”