I am afraid.

Don’t ask me why I wore a skirt

Ask them why the mother’s legs

Didn’t make their penis wander about

And violate her modesty, like they did mine.

Don’t ask me why I was out at night

Ask them about the working sister

She is out still, oblivious about the lecherous brothers

Oblivious there might be another eyeing her

She is me, she has a cunt.

If you can’t do this, give me a scar in the face

That never goes

That reminds you, me

Of the wounds that bleed on the outside

As much as they do inside

And reminds everyone with a cunt

That she will always be ‘the other’

Because today I am afraid

Of the empty house

Of the dark night

Of the lonely corridor

Of a shadow nearing mine

Of walking back to the house,

In a slow pace

Today I am afraid

Of half the human race.

Liberation

Make me insignificant.

Like a drop in an ocean,
I want to lose my identity.

A face in the crowd nobody recollects
No names, no tags, no testimony to attest
An existence that I ever beheld.

Erase me from your memory
Let go of all that reads, speaks, feels akin me
I want liberation.

Void stored, Life drained.

Numb you stand and watch

While they take away all you had

No tears will suffice

To bring it back

And then you will stand and watch

Your blood wailing in pain

No words but shriek escaping lips

Eyes blood shot and senses will quit

Only comprehension that remains

Will be synonymous to pain

Muscles will fail you

There won’t be much you could do

Feeble, hopeless, grey you sit

In an empty room, just emptied

With walls that smell and speak of a presence

Whose absence now, forever will prick

This ache will crawl up your toes

Will penetrate your skin, diffusing into the blood

Until it hasn't had fun inflicting your wound

As you twist and turn crying

Which will never be enough

And life will bring you down to your knees

“Bite the dust, you took for me granted”

It will announce and laugh and mock at your pride

Its time you knew, it wasn't yours to ride

You pay the rent and leave one day

A few tears, a day and it will continue its play

Fair or not, it’s not for you to say

Who are you? What are you, anyway?!

The feet.

Little feet, crawling

Mouth, the only reception

Eyes watching, witnessing lies

Ears listening cries

Little feet learn

For they let them.

Not so little feet, escaping

Hiding in the dark

Too much light, too real a reality

Succumbing to their way

Not so little feet walk over

Pulling down anything between their path

Not so little feet have learnt

For they let them.

The old feet, at rest

No zeal, no time, no place to run

Old feet, make patters in the dust

Old eyes look, introspect

Of wasted miles, of wasted suns

Old eyes shut, they won’t open

The old feet unlearn

And they let them.

The old woman, the old man.

Held his petite fingers

They kissed his forehead

Filmed him take his first ever steps

At around their knees he would prance

Pulling on grandma’s hair

With grandpa’s glasses he would play along

‘Ride me on your back grandpa'

And the old man would kneel

'Sing me a sleep song granny'

And her breaking voice sung melodies

Today it’s his twelfth birthday

All his friends are home

The old man, the old lady though would sit alone

In a place un-cherished and unknown

Holding on to a knitted sweater

With the grandson’s name sewed in blue

She wipes a silent tear

Trickling down grandpa’s cheek

Holding his arm, just being there

Looking at the broken wooden door

In a rickety old harbour for aged

They wait for their son to pick them up

For the place which was once their home

Winter, the only season their life understands

Whilst they sit and wait to transcend

To a world where there is no place

To a world with no time

Where they can watch down from the skies

Their grandson singing the rhymes

They once sung to him

Before the transient nature of time

Turned the ones they raised

Forgetful and unkind

Winter

Warm feet,

arms, hands, those wanderers 

Breath, collide

A face, beautiful, seductive

Moist lips, skin radiating, pristine white

hair, darker than the night

A blanket covering the uncovered

darkness overwhelmed senses

lights needed no more.

Winter, stay.

Cold feet, a pair

arms rolled, a pair

No collision of breath

A face as cold as ice

melting into the crimson fire of pain

Cracked lip, raw skin

Upon an abandoned body

a blanket covering the uncovered, still

darkness overwhelming the senses, still

lights needed no more, still.

Winter, stayed.

Look out for me?

Close your eyes and count till ten

Look out for me

In the breeze that carries my scent

I hope you turn around locating me in the crowd then

In the chill of the wind

Turning your nose red

At the shore of your heart

Where a few castles once read

Of our togetherness.

Close your eyes and count till ten

Look out for me

Under the sky of our dreams

In the warmth of the firewood

Where the fervor of our breaths

Colliding with all the vehemence

Ousted the passion

Flickering in those flames.

Close your eyes and count till ten

Look out for me

Tracing the signature of my feet

Washed away by the sea

Which you tickled sometime back

And kissed

Whilst a silver anklet with hearts and stars

You tied around it.

Close your eyes and count till ten

Look out for me

On the canvas of the love that was

With the brightest hues

In the folds of the sheets that lie indifferent now

Where I would duck in and peep through one eye

I wasn’t the naughty one, or was I?!

Concealing the smirk

Oh the smirk, your secret confidant!

Close your eyes and count till ten

Look out for me

In those drowsy days

In those sleepless nights

In a lifeless life, that found abode in you

And now skirts around in oblivion

Of what, they call as life.

Close your eyes and count till ten

Look out for me

I am standing there, still.

Living in a longing, of the day

When you will close your eyes and count till ten

To look out for me, if at all.

Else, denial works for a lovelorn

Who will keep scribbling

Pouring out all the pain

Smiling at everyone, when they take your name.

She exists in the non existent.

She looked through the window

The rusted pane, the tainted glass

She sipped and licked her lip

Sipped some more

Wine wasn’t enough that night

Looking for a face amongst the stars

Another in the patterns the clouds make

Giving an ear to the silences of the night

She wriggled her fingers through the strand of hair

That carelessly danced to the rhythm of the wind

Her fragile hands slid the glass away

With laden eyes she kept sorting,

That strand of hair

Those sloppy clouds

The mean stars

In the spring outside she couldn’t reconcile

The winter inside her didn’t die

The delightful symphonies that whore burnt away

The whore named Time

Left over are,
Torched spirits
Unlit reminiscenses

Empty wine bottles

Brimmed blood-shot eyes

A world that ceased to exist

A self existence denied

An unfinished story

A finished life.

To self.

A few words that echo, the only smile with glistening teeth, the uncovered yawn and the sweaty forehead.

The cusp of the tissue, the rear-view mirror, miles marched or really?

Sleep deprived eyes, liked unlike, stalk and sulk, look around and then move rear.

A song of love, an always after all, the dry monsoon and the clock that did halt.

Interrogates the mirror, an unanswered self, then picks up a pen and sulks a little more.

Please remember me.

Remember me when you dance

Call my name when you sing

When I climb the staircase to heaven

Don’t let the tears in your eyes touch the brink

When the nasty sun rays peek through the window

And tease you as they fight your eyes

Whilst you turn your face and toss the side

Remember me embracing you between the sheets

As you frown and in my bosom you confide

When the wind rustles through your hair

Kisses your neck, climbing slyly to the ears

Remember the warmth of my breath that moistened your neck
That petite face in my hands, when I leant, turned shy

When a promise of togetherness on our lips did reside

As you pick a band to tie those tresses

Stop half way and remember me as I undid

Those locks darker than the night

Wherein my dreams played hide & seek

Lost in those tresses my nights were spent
Running my fingers through them, whilst you bent

You sure did cast a spell, you sure got me hypnotized

When the dresses don’t fit and you start to age

Remember when in the mirror you gaze

Those eyes still make me skip a beat

Whilst every night I see them gazing up at me

Trying to locate me amongst the stars

While a silent tear flows and you promise yet again

The smile is all you will greet me with, the next night

Let him take your hand now

Let him take you for a ride I didn’t

Your smile is what kept my life going

Your smile is what will keep me going in death still

As I watch down from the skies

So smile when you let yourself to him

And take a step or two, let loose those hair again

The music that will play in your ears

Let just that music be me

Remember me as you dance

And remember me when you sing..

To the dreaded dawn, the whining mirror and the nasty wind

An ashen face and trembling fingers

I held my bottle and gulped it down

With the mirror shouting, you are dying

I whispered in its ears, “I know”

As I dragged my feet towards the window

A gush of air pushed me away

The struggle between the two of us

The wind and I, consummated with the beginning of the day

I pranced through the meadows

In sunshine yellow and strawberry pink

A floral scarf, that went down till my knees

I kissed the air, to the sun I winked

Friends and folks beamed at my smile

I reassured them I was doing fine

I danced through the day and celebrated the feast

With my world, through the day I drank and dined

The day took off, the evening was here

The coats were put, feet marched towards their caves

I stood at the road with my eyes glued to the way

One for my home, one to a place far away

And again I gave up that thought

For the house, I left astray

As I shed off the cloak of the gaiety I wore

The mirror again shouted you’re living as the world’s whore

You smile because they want you to, dance to their song

I shouted “He stole my breathe and left me to a life forlorn,

Let me smile at the world and hide the tear they mistake for a glint in my eye

Let me dance to their tune

For the rhythm of my life has turned wry"

I and mirror quibbled through the night

The wind kept at bay, watching the brawl

I talked through the night, as it heard me whine

I drunk all my pain once again till those wee hours

Then afraid of the inevitable I peeped through the pane

As another day had commenced again.

Delhi Metro! Why this Kolaveri?

The metro trains have sure bettered the face of public transport system but comes along with it an aftermath accruing to the struggle left over to ‘We the People’. A lot of struggle!

1.    Struggle to find a seat even in the women’s coach

The ninja spirited aunties. With the 100 kg flab hanging at their bodies, they would still beat Ussain Bolt at the race to get one empty seat as soon as the metro doors open. One whose luck favours would fix her wide ass to the spot and another with an I-won’t-give-up-Bitch attitude up her face, would make everyone on the berth move inch by inch building up a few inches to place her own ass (which may spread to miles!). Considering herself a size zero, she would eventually fix in to a seating capacity of ten, her being the twelfth. Travel in a truck you woman!

Then there are the old ones who would stand before you, breathing up your neck and because you are the Spoilt GenNext, the SMS generation, so in order to prove the integrity of your folks you leave your seat to them with the entire incumbency.

Please sit, Madame. I hope you slip!

But don’t be mistaken, this was just the lucky half of the women who got the seats. The deprived half would keep standing glued to the cusp of the seats.  And not to forget the three pair of eyes glued to grab one seat when the fat-ass gets up. And damn that victorious smile on the winner’s face!

2.    Struggle to bear some flatulence

When I say ‘Flatulence’, I mean the foul smell out of unpleasant reactions in someone’s stomach out of the burger he gorged on or the butter chicken he feasted upon.

“I wish you knew how I was suffering!”

I empathise, Sir, but flatulence is the biggest worry that plagues public transport. At least for me. Public farters like you never hesitate to make a move, for you know that we can’t locate you amongst the crowd. Not even a smile from your end, no reaction at all, and the poisonous gas is leaked from your godforsaken bodies to torture the innocent lives of the fellow travellers.

Thank you for being so considerate. Let me wait for the next station till I hold my breath. I have to stay alive till the doors open next.

…and secretly hope that some cork blocks your asshole. Soon.

3.    Struggling with the plethora of Homo-sapiens

The general coach always has a variety to offer. The pot-bellied men with tobacco stained teeth, the handsome guy with the Bluetooth in his ear. You cannot help but gawk at him and make all moves to grab his attention. But sadly, the moment you are able to find an empty spot near him after some fifty ‘Excuse Me’s, he gets down. Now the former variety stands before you‒ the pot-bellied uncle.

There is always this chirpy little college girl with pink earphones plugged as she moves her feet to the song (a David Guetta number I am guessing). And when you cannot help but stare, she thinks you’re that despo who clicks pictures of women in the metros. So just shut your eyes even if she starts jumping and screaming. And sincerely, DO NOT CLICK!

There is aunty with the backless blouse and her flab poking out through the strings of it. Feel embarrassed as you bump into her huge boobs. You’ll somehow manage to find your way out!

The aunty with that kid who cries a lot, you cannot help but smile sheepishly whilst you wonder if you could just shove something up this nasty one’s mouth.

…just when his biological mother does that!

The kid who thinks he is cute and can go his way playing with your phone/hair/nose and to whom you appear a tree. He can climb his way to you. 

You are quite likely to spot a group of friends who ramble about the hottest girl with the skimpiest top, about that teacher with the nice 36DD, about that bitch who fled with someone else’s boyfriend. This is the time you realize how your life sucks amidst the files at your desk in the office with no eye candy at all and a boss who is always breathing up your neck.

“Yeah. My life sucks, buddy!”

The metro is always too crowded. And unsettling. I want to get back to college. Now.

P.S. I have started writing for this website http://crazyweedia.com/ . Do pay a visit guys, if you wish to tickle your funny bone a little more :)
This article has been published there as well http://crazyweedia.com/entries/comedy/why-delhi-metro-sucks

The kiss undone!

My fingers running through your hair

As you look into my eyes

Whilst you hold me by the waist

At the cusp of the dawn the universe subsides

“You’re drunk” you tell me

“Just kiss me” I insist

And as you lean your head forward

The sun waits a little while

To break through the skies

The dim lights, the breeze

Got us together those minutes

Before my dream was impeded

By the rat in my bed sheet!!

Ok sorry, I was feeling funny :P

I quit.

As I stare at the bulb hanging loose

And the ceiling that leaks, chipping off

A world inside me tussles

That you will never come across

For the face that I put on, the smile I wear

Makes you believe I am what you want

I am right there

But I am not.

Behind these eyes, I hide

Behind this smile, I cry

Behind these words, I shriek

To find a me I left behind

On a trip down, someday

Where I waited for you to come

To say, it’s ok.

That’s what you have done to me

Blinded me to the lighted way

That’s what I have become

Another body, waiting for decay.

So when I die, love me

For I gave up everything

In lieu of being someone

You wanted me to be

And now when I count till three

These breaths will cease

The fan at the ceiling

Will put me at ease.

The ceiling will not cease to chip

And you will forget me someday

The bulb will keep hanging loose

And a torn me between two lives,

One that you designed for me,

One that I did

Death will shun away.

So I no more beg of you to understand

No hope at my end is lit

Because today I am tired,

So today, I quit.

In death she did write.

Lost in limbo she remains

Concealing the marks around her lips

Dried tears and ashen face

Smoking away the pain that pricks

As time peels her soul

Layer by layer

Piercing all that belonged to her

On what he feasted

Beastly hands and beastly lips

She lies there fluttering her legs

She lies there then numb

A dingy room and that fluorescent light

A naked her with none by side

For not hands he held, but only thighs

And then left withering her

Another hideous man arrives

And she is done again and left to her plight

While her lips remain sealed

Her soul cries

As the mirror tells her

He doesn’t care about your eyes

His frame of reference is

That flower between your thighs

"I cannot demand love

to me even care is denied

Fuck your world

I am no more the site"

She shouted, bolted her doors

And embarked her flight

They laid the stone

That read R.I.P

She was found in a gown that was white

What life denied her

In death she did write

While she lived those last minutes

Feasting on her life

Smiling at herself, welcoming death with pride.

Living to Die

Stoned he laid at that staircase

Where the feet never marched, only dragged

With heavy heart and body’s weight

He pushed himself towards darkness

Every breath that went in was just air

Every sip of water, mere pours

Each bite of food meant a thing down mouth

That pierced the walls of his throat

Two eyes looked at him, they laughed

Two eyes looked at him, they cried

Two eyes looked at him, they yelled

Two eyes left him cleaving wry

They were his own, venturing a quest

To excavate himself from the labyrinth of life

As he doped himself to madness

With every breath he took, even more he died

Anger and pain the only consciousness

Everything else, remained a blur

The benumbed senses kept shouting for him

But he chose against the will to shut his ears

An alter ego stretched arms to life

The other towards madness, calling him paranoid

He shouted, pulled hair shook the woman on his right

The mother stood numb seeing her son lost in void

He slapped his girl as she fell across the room

He pulled her hair and raped her savagely

The woman lay astray and hanged herself to death

Her man was a monster who did her heedlessly

The madness killed everything humanly

A beast now lived for a kill

To vent the anger down his throat

He doped a little more, he doped against his will

Knowing what he did, he still couldn’t live

Without the forbidden drug that consumed him in entirety

He smoked up more, exploiting himself

To escape a voice that unlashed the beast

They disowned him and sent him to rehab

For months he shouted and then succumbed to silence

He lays there stoned still, not of the drug that anesthetised

But of madness that whipped in him anger and violence

And of insanity that had now deprived him of a life

In madness he lives, in madness he will die

Unaware of a self, unaware of his deeds

He tears his cloak, gapes to breathe

Looks at the world that drove him to madness

And now calls him a filthy beastly mess

Oblivious of a body that carries his soul

The mirror too now had turned oblique

What remains is only pain

That tears his flesh excruciatingly

Wasted he lies there, stoned away from life

Unaware of a self, living to die.

Of a Con woman in love

Call me rogue, call me a wanderer

One look in my eyes and you shall suffer

I will steal your priced possession

And you will never know

Like sand I will slip from your clasp

While you catch me as I go

A secret sewing your lips

Of my fraudulence you won’t speak

 For you gave in to my tricks

While I left your thirst unquenched

And emptied your pocket leaving you drenched

I am a thief in disguise, a damsel faithless

Another cop, another day

Investigations rolled

Like the wave of dew I vanished

Seen and admired but none could hold

And then he came.

Outshining the sun he stood

An eye in my eye and I gazed

As he held my arm for the arrest

While my heart became the guest

Of the love that stood my way

I ran saving my life

For a rogue now had found

A reason to live a life

In the refuge of someone’s arms

Was I dreaming? A cop and a thief?

The intoxicating eyes couldn’t cheat him

The damsel lay astray in love

The faithless woman altered to Keats

After one sight of her knight armoured

For I wrote now letters

Immersed in fragrance of your love

To tell you the plight of my heart

I lay possessed by your love

And it sure might occur to you

That these are the pages of some tale

But today I will confront and speak my heart

This pounds for you all hours of the day

Love tricked the damsel as she went

To the cop, speaking of the story of her heart

She had nestled it within for long

Now was the time he heard it and laughed

He caught her by the hand, she smiled

Threw her behind bars, she smiled

Was awarded the medals of bravery

For he had caught the damsel who had beguiled

Men of honour who thought she was one at a price

The con woman lay abhorred

He never believed her words

She blamed herself and Karma

For now nothing favoured

After all the torture she endured

Inside the clink as he abused

Of her blemished character

As she kept breaking loose

She still smiled, for the series of his talks

Weaved the life she lived in love

And a day came when she decided to walk

Into the skies for now she thought

Another birth was what she needed

For this life she would never have

His love and his heart

She died. Her last words.

“Dear, you never believed

The condition of my spread heart

But your love twisted this damsel

The metamorphosis to a lover wasn’t hard

For your words, your sight

Your touch delivered to my soul

Of love wherein I lived a life I had never thought

As I leave the world today

I have no regrets, only rush

To be born again as someone

Who is worthy of your love

Goodbye dear, I am riding off from behind these bars

Though in the night, I will meet you among the stars.”