Authenticity?

Look at all those picture perfect moments

The idyllic life

The merry making, the bright skies

For once, can you dare to look beyond 

Those eyes that shine? 

Was that happiness or tears that hide

A longing? A wound that stings? 

Can you dare to listen to those silent screams?

Not compare a day with your fancy news feed,

Or the impeccability of life on the TV screen?

Can you talk about the dullness, the rotten 

Self destructive pleasures this verse brings,

Bleeding on the drudgery of life, a wee bit of authenticity?!

WRECKED

Slice open my chest and you’ll see

Bare, hollow nothingness

Try your luck finding the treasure you seek

Make a few cuts around, go a little further down

Probably you’ll place it

That, what I could never reveal

As I lay there with half lidded eyes

Glaring into the void

Waiting to be wrecked further

Until you find, 

What you need. 

Go ahead, wreck me.

10 days to December

A turn of events
exchange of an old familiar glance
it changed everything
yet again.

It's 10 days to December
I am counting each one as it comes
prepping myself for the winter
warming up my palm with my own.

I am enough

No chase, no anxiety

No wish, no fear

I am sitting in my bed,

With a blanket tucked tight

Saturdaying with some words that yearn to spill out

Like sparkling champagne

On a celebratory night

But what's the celebration for, I think to myself.

Tonight I am at rest

There is no plan to make

There is nothing that can shake

My will to take on whatever tomorrow brings

Tonight I have nothing to lose

'Cause I've already let go

Of all my fears

Most of all, of being alone 

And realized, I can be enough

To live with. 

Tonight I am enough

And there is no one else I seek

Tonight I am enough

And there is no place else, I would rather be.

Heard by one, sung by two.

embracing the changing wind
with every step towards tomorrow
tussling a sore ache, hiding a recent scar
unsightly, but deep
she takes to her bosom the gifts of today
No questions asked, no love sought
only some hope in eyes for a new start
everything that comes along, is bonus.

the more it was held on, the sooner it got away
now from a distance she watches time enacting its play
its dancing with the new, its kissing the wet lips
its curling toes inside, as a pair of arms dissolved
fears, anxiety, uncertainty unresolved.

letting go of all foreboding, her canvas was now smeared
with hues of passion reds and bleeding blues
those bold strokes created music for sight
heard by one and sung by two.

While learning to unlove

Kept withdrawing each step

away from your direction

that took away a lot

some smiles, many tears

little love, and all of my heart

created my own little space

away from everything that was yours

it took one second for you to enter it back

one look, one song, and too much hurt

Starting again from scratch

let me walk away

stop pulling me in

you know we were set for decay.

I know I can't unlove

but let me at least forget

that song of love,

those hair falling on your forehead

let me learn to live without you

and learn how to harbor my regrets.

The three 'R's

In disdain I watched from the window of my office

A patch of grass being redone

On the little ground between

The tallest structures of bricks and mortar

And I questioned the existence of the

Slender palms, spread across a reasonable green 

It was a reassurance, to the ones like me

That there is the possibility of bloom

Even amidst the detached exchange of hellos and cold rubbing of shoulders

Or is there?

Or will there be the need to renew,

another patch of grass, as they threw

That burning cigarette, on its last leg

And pressed it under their shoe

Because that's what everything is reduced to

The three words - Reduce, Recycle and Reuse

That's what everything has reduced to.

Conclusively hence.

Can you look into her eyes 

And tell her what you did

They will pierce your soul apart

Put you on the brink 

To an inevitable fall

You invited upon yourself.

Did you not see her see,

Or were you too naive to assume

That the fate of your debauchery 

Would outlive that of the frivolities 

You had chained her with?

The storm within her

Is now ready to tear you apart

Into the nothingness of your being.

Watch out!

Incremental loss.

Layer after layer

Peeled off her muted face

Skin of love went first

Tailgated by that of lust

Then went understanding 

Took away companionship

Friendship followed soon towards.

Extended hands come back

Rest on the face

What remains now is a plain surface

You cannot scrape anything from 

Anymore from.

No goosebumps, no butterflies 

Only disappointed droopy eyes

Looking out for no one.

Don't ask her why she won't move

She is a victim of optimism.

Tramp

I've walked a lot of roads,

They've led me to dingy shacks,

With loose bulbs and chipped ceilings;

Where love only resides under the sheets

It's unknown faces, when out of them.

I've walked a lot of roads,

They've led me to shady bars.

I've bled on broken bottles

And have led my wounds be fed on by thirsty hungry mosquitoes, from here and about.

I've loved with all my might,

I've kissed without it and I won't deny.

I've been a bitch you've been warned about,

I've been the angel you've dreamt.

I will wreck every castle you build,

I am a ship without a compass, with a baggage of guilt.

There's no place I can stay for too long,

I have no money to pay the rent,

I am a rover who doesn't have a place to call home,

A tramp with no heart to lend.

Nightmare

I never claimed to be a dream,
But was oblivious until you said,
I was a nightmare you detest.
I had laid out all I owned,
The madness, the chaos, the noise
Of my head, the mess of my presence.
You held it, pretended to nurture,
Drove uphill only to push it down
That edge.
With an inability to collect the damaged remains,
I make do with the scattered self.
Dragging on the drudgery of life,
Sipping on the tears of blood,
Licking my wounded self.

Zilch.

With every lover who marked
A territory of his conquest,
She lost a part of herself.

They claimed her heart and soul,
She kept giving all she had.
Towards and away,
Back and forth.

The fashion had its unfolding,
She kept losing, they kept taking.

Oblivious of what was left,
She lost another conquest.

Now she's walking back and forth,
With nothing to give away,
For nothing she does possess.

The very remains of her belongings
Are buried somewhere in a place,
Where she last removed her dress.

Let's Rot.

Settling in all the humdrum of life
And dragging all the broken pieces
Giving in to the chaos in head
I will choose a corner
From where you can't smell
The pungency of my being
And my failed self
Rotting in a shady hut.

Of guarded memories.

Turning pages of an old diary,
that smelled of a wilted rose;
She read those guarded memories,
logged in the ink of love and woes.

Those eyes and lips together,
sang in chorus, of her fate;
When a silent tear and a longing smile,
surfaced her sombre face.

To a 'Happily Forever' end.

Dreadful of an eventual aggregate,
She apprehends putting it together;
Pieces of all the things,
That fell apart.

From the inability to conform to the contents,
Of the inevitable,
She runs from the light,
Into the dark.

Since each ray of light,
Reveals terrifying vistas of reality,
She tucks herself under the blanket of the dark night,
Cornering herself from all the turbulence,
In a fear of waking from the dream,
That puts together all her hopes,
That assuredly has a
'Happily Forever' end.

L.O.O.S.E

At the cusp of her lash

Lies the tear from the other night

When she downed another glass

And embraced all that was vice

In solitude she sat, cross-legged

Before the mirror, in her bareness

Looked into it and smiled

Looked into it and cried

Held her face in her palms and sighed

Then rolled along the floor and howled

Those freckled walls and the insolent dresser

Remained there unperturbed

The empty couch and the dirty sheets

Stared into her helplessness unstirred

And then you walk in

Closing the door behind

Pulsed with desires you walk towards the bed

She lays there silent with her legs spread

Done with your business

You walk away with no words exchanged

All you leave her with,

Is some white trash

Each day, you burn down

The rims of her only bridge to life

With each glass of whiskey

She has gulped down her pride

Another night passes by

With one of you again

Her numb insides, sore

Her bruised soul lingers

Somewhere in the dark corners

Of her carcass, the little that has remained

And she embraces all your vice

Closing her eyes

Remaining mute in the pain

                                                                                       

          

Once again

I can no longer hide my desires.
Not any more.

I cannot choose between my entirety
and your hypocritical demands
I do not dread being alone
but loneliness does hound

My body cannot carry your scent any longer
and my taste buds have desensitized
While you keep urging me to taste
the dish you served,
the one I denied

In a fight between denial and me denying
I let denial win again
because the only candle in the room
nursed in the darkness of my being
melted away to undo the shadow
cast on the frame of our ties

I have hidden all my desires,
once again.

T.R.I.A.L

When the clouds of grief pull an evil dance

And the dry leaves rustle over the ground

Hang in there, sweet child of mine

You’re being tested of your perseverance

You will look for love in things lifeless

You will scratch your knees as you drag yourself

Chasing everything you ever beheld

With eyes drowned in spirits you will see

Images of everything burnt down to ashes

Those embers rise and vanish into the humdrum

Terminating all that ever prevailed

There is no testimony to them you can attach

You will cry until there is nothing wet left

Shout until your voice box ruptures

You’d be a stone

Panting you will reach a dead dark end

Looking around for something you can withstand

Look above, sweet child of mine

You will see them shine bright

In the darkest of nights

Seeing the one that falls

Make a wish, close your eyes

This is when you let go off all your pains

Hold your face in your palms

Love again.

Damsel in Distress

A stog tucked between the index and the center

She dragged her steps from the floor to the couch

A skimpy, shiny golden embraced the bosom

And black leather chinos, the long legs

Her luscious glossy lips let go of the smoke

As she flicked some ash on the floor

Her black long tresses ended at the round tush

She clicked her heels and left the club

The damsel wore the thickest kohl

Blood-shot eyes and a bottle of fine wine

A woman of class, quarantined

Still walking eye-to-eye

Transgressing each stare

She marched to a loft secluded somewhere

Broke the bottle on the floor

She crashed on her bed

Scribbled something on a paper abandoned

it read, "I don't like being alone,

you all ruined me when we were together
you disappointed me each time I tried"
The pen slipped off her cold, desolate fingers

Reached the ground and made a sound

The only sound in the room

That echoed for a while.

A Carnal Fervour

Tossing and turning

Up and around

Those bodies intertwined

Those lips whimper softly

As they fight for dominance

His tongue then travels a path

From the nape of her neck

Finding its way to the navel

It lingers along the breasts

With eyes those of a tamed lioness

She looks at him as he charges ahead

His burning eager advances

Melts her supposed rebellion

As she lies there with her legs spread.

Her sweet entrance he pampers

When his tongue penetrates inside of her

With her body turning numb she moans

Not feeling her thighs anymore

Wetness and hardness come together again

As those bodies exhaust in a carnal fervor